Any of you who know me well, know that I have a real knack and talent for running. I don't mean the sport running, I mean running, from risks, from pain, from fears, from truly living. I love adventures and doing exciting things that involve rushes of adrenaline. But whenever there was a risk of getting hurt emotionally or any way involving something deeper, that's when I would break out in a full sprint and run faster than thought possible. I was always running, never stopping, never looking back, never taking the time to live because I was too busy thinking about losing some aspect of life. But peace is for the dead, the ability to feel pain and to worship in midst of that pain is what makes us truly alive.

Currently, I am sitting in an office, in a cafe, across the street from a massage parlor (that also deals in prostitution), that is located in a small street/alley, in the middle of the city called Bangkok, in the Kingdom of Thailand. Literally on the other side of the world with the place I called "home". The path that brought me here was a path full of pain, failure, love, lies, weakness, strength, many contradictions, running, and finally standing still to answer the call.

Funny thing is, I got to YWAM by running from pain and the possibility of getting hurt. Part of me felt the call of God leading me to Shanghai and part of me answered just to be able to run away again. But God used that call not to bring me to Shanghai, China, but to bring me eventually here. It's an amazing thing how His plans always tend to work out and how He sees the big picture all the time. But anyways, back to the running. I hate to admit it but I was running from a guy, and running from the memories that are entangled in such a short life so far. God used my desire to run and just get out of the small town scene to bring me out into an even smaller world that rests in the palm of His hands. I ran, full out sprinted, and found myself in a strange (intimidating) part of the town of Monroe, North Carolina. In that town, and in a house full of so many girls, God broke me. Correction, He SHATTERED me, completely. He tore down all my walls, and showed me what it truly means to be alive. That living belongs to those who take risks, answer His call with "Here I am Lord. Send me.", and who face that huge possibility of getting hurt. Those are who truly live! The one's who go about life that way, not the one's who never get hurt, who never take risks, and who always play it safe out of fear; people exactly  like how I was. I was really good at painting great, intricate masks and wearing them well. I could hide what was going on underneath. But through those short (yet incredibly long) three months in Monroe God took off and ripped up my masks that I wore and the walls I built up. In their place He covered me with His love and gave me His heart and His eyes for all that He has created. I won't lie, it was so hard and there were two times I remember that I wanted to just run and leave. But something kept me there, God had given me just enough taste of just enough of His freedom that I couldn't run and I couldn't leave. I had to stay. So I did. And staying brought me here.

I'm now in Bangkok, Thailand, helping to show ladyboys here the love and redemption that God has shown and given to me. I'm also working in a coffee shop that is a branch of a nonprofit that helps to rehabilitate those ladyboys and get them out of the sex industry and out of working in the bars. On top of that I also get to go and teach English twice a week to children and teenagers who live here in Bangkok. It's still hard to actually believe that I'm here and to look back and see where I came from and who I was that hardly anyone else got to see and see where I am now and what I'm doing.

The team that I'm here with consists of our leader and precious soul Sarah, along with her assistant leader Cassie who is the perfect compliment and friend for Sarah. Those two just complete each others friendship so well. When one is more stressed out and worrying the other is relaxed and able to calmly get the job done and vise versa. It's amazing to see how well teams go together when God hand chooses them and places them together. The students are Meredith, Ruthie, Anna, Joshua, Aaron, and myself; there again is the perfect description of how random, different, and yet completely coherent a team can be when God picks them out, pieces them together, and someone says "yes".

We have been here for just under three weeks now and already I can see a change in us and the people we are interacting with. I absolutely love to see the ways that God works!

But it is now 1am here in Bangkok so I'm going to hit the hay. That is just kind of an intro to what's going on and what this blog is about. I've honestly never blogged before, am not really sure where to go with this, and don't really know what to say. But hey, I felt like God was telling me to do this so I'm just going to say yes and allow Him to take me wherever He  wants me to go. Oh the places you will go and the things you will see when you simply answer God's call with "here I am Lord. Send me"